The Budget Beatitudes (from the Sermon on the Amount)

For some reason, the most vocal Christians among us never mention the Beatitudes. But, often with tears in their eyes, they demand that the Ten Commandments be posted in public buildings. And of course that’s Moses, not Jesus. I haven’t heard one of them demand that the Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes, be posted anywhere.

“Blessed are the merciful” in a courtroom? “Blessed are the peacemakers” in the Pentagon? Give me a break!

--Kurt Vonnegut from In These Times, May 10, 2004.

Blessed are the insanely rich,
for bailouts and bonuses continue even in desperate times.

Blessed are the comfortably insured,
for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the loud, obnoxious and arrogant,
for they shall be covered on cable news (and may even get their own shows).

Blessed are the companies who hunger and thirst for profit,
for they shall (never!) be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciless,
for they shall be called fiscal conservatives.

Blessed are the purely heartless,
for they protect us from socialism…and empathy…and compassion.

Blessed are the weapons makers,
for their work continues without regard to recession or depression or people or life.

Blessed are they who persecute others in the name of righteousness,
for they shall thereby feel justified.